🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?